When I woke up this morning, I found myself right in the middle of the bed. I haven’t slept in the middle in forty-three years. I stick to my side, I’m comfortable there, and I don’t belong anywhere but my place. I actually felt guilty about being there; I felt grabby, invasive, and that I didn’t know my place. So, it appears that I wasn’t accidentally “caught” in the middle. More accurately, I have been deliberately confining myself to one spot.
Don’t we do that with our careers, especially in dance? People file us away in their own cabinets of presumption and narrow perspective, and we dutifully stay there, because that’s where we belong. “I’ll never be good at doing fast footwork, so I won’t audition for that.” “That ballet company only likes short (or tall) people, so I can only dream about auditioning for that one.” “I never do adagios very well, so I’ll stand here in the back, where I belong.” “I’m not known for my singing, so I won’t audition for that musical.” ‘I’ve never had a good audition before, so I won’t ever open myself up to that and be disappointed.”
Any of that sound familiar? It shouldn’t take a life changing event to catapult us out of someone else’s file on us, or our own box. I don’t even mean our comfort zone, because sometimes we can be very UNcomfortable in the box we’re in. When we finally do get out, we can feel that we don’t belong. People may say, “My, you’ve changed; you’re so different! Where have you been?” No, you haven’t changed; you’ve been in there all along.
Recognizing our weaker areas and our “work-ons” is necessary so that we can grow, not hide. Listening to others’ perception about who we are can be stifling.
In our current culture, being in the middle is good, safe, diplomatic, and politically correct. No one gets too angry at you, but they never really know exactly who you are. Neither do you.
In the arts world, being in the middle is mediocre and boring. We are encouraged to either be totally committed to classicism with passion or cutting edge and avante-garde, also with passion.
To people of faith, “choosing this day whom you will serve” is mandatory (Joshua 24:14). God even says quite plainly, “So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth (Revelation 3:16). Yikes.
So, what does this have to do with sleeping in the middle of the bed? Nothing really, because there’s nothing wrong with stretching out and claiming new space. However, it did make me think about sticking ourselves in a box. There’s no lock on the box, except for the one that we put there ourselves. WE have the key in our pocket.
Get out of your box, and don’t be afraid to discover who you really are and how to use ALL of you. And if someone says to you, “Boy, you’re so different from who I thought you were,” you can say, “Nope, I’m just claiming new space and growing – I’ve outgrown my box!”
Oh, and it really is ok to sleep in the middle of the bed; it’s yours.
Dance on.
Grace Notes 