I was given a photo of a frightened little toddler sitting on her grandmother’s lap. It was the 4^th of July, and they were sitting indoors to watch the fireworks. The child was obviously skittish from the noises and sudden, sizzling displays of fire all around her, so the grandma, wanting her little granddaughter to feel safe, brought her indoors. Not unusual or unique, right? However, the unusual thing about the photo was that it was taken from outdoors looking inside the window. Because of the glare of the sun and the darkness of the room, the view is very dim, and you can barely make out the people sitting inside. The only thing really standing out that gives a clue that someone is in there are the arms holding the child tightly. You presume people are in there, but if not for those loving arms in the tight embrace, you might not notice the photo at all, maybe even toss it in the trash. What you can also see is that the little girl is calm and feels secure because she feels the protection of someone whom she loves and who loves her surrounding her to keep her safe.

Nothing can feel more isolating than fear, whether you are a child or an adult. We feel that no one else understands or feels the same way, and no one sees you. And you certainly can’t see, feel, or hear God at all.

Good news. God’s arms are holding us every moment, whether we think we need Him or not. I used to hold my children’s hands when we crossed the street, whether there were any cars around or not . . . just in case. Just because God’s presence isn’t always tangible doesn’t mean He isn’t with us.  Whenever you feel insignificant, He knows you and you are so very important to Him. Are you ever afraid? His arms are already around you. Are you ever frustrated and feeling that you are at the end of your rope? He will not let you fall, because he is the one holding the other end of that rope. Perhaps you are concerned about the future. He’s already waiting there with His arms ready; He’s guiding you along and waiting for you, all at the same time, even when you can’t see. That’s because seeing is not really believing. But trusting is.

1 Corinthians13:12 says, “For now I see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.  Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”

If you look at the photo, the child is not floating through time and mid-air on her own – you know someone whom we can barely see is holding her up. You are not floating through life on your own either. Someone is always holding you up, otherwise you would not be able to be reading these words.

God sees us clearly and holds us securely no matter how dimly we see Him or how far away we think He is. Right now we see Him dimly, but we can experience Him fully.

So take a deep breath and settle back – He’s right here.

         Have you ever had what you thought was a wonderful idea to start a new project? It was probably fueled by your visions of the end product – a dream fulfilled! At first, the enthusiasm was so motivating, it was a novelty in your life, and you could see it so clearly in your head. You would fall asleep at night dreaming of conversations about your success, all the people who would benefit from this idea, and how fulfilled you were going to be. You finally found what you were sure God wanted you to do!

      BAM! Reality came busting through the door. People who promised to help didn’t, schedules got in the way, details popped up that were not on your radar, and the work was going so slowly. There was tiny movement, like three steps forward, then one or two steps backward. This was not at all what you pictured.

      So what did you picture? God said He has a plan for you. Does that mean you have a seat on His private jet that will catapult you straight to success, by-passing all the losers down below that just couldn’t figure life out? God does have a plan for you and every single one of us, and the hard stuff is probably the most valuable part of His perfect plan.

      Have you ever done a jigsaw puzzle – one of those thousand-piece puzzles that takes days or weeks to complete? You probably bought the puzzle because of the picture on the box. It inspired you and you couldn’t wait to finish it, maybe even frame it. While you were working on it, whenever you saw a piece that confused you and seemed totally out of place, you looked at the big, finished picture on the box to give you some kind of clue as to where the piece fit in. That picture was crucial to getting the puzzle finished.

      Here’s the reality of God’s plan for our lives: We are not born in a box that has the finished picture of our lives on the cover. God certainly knows the picture, but we don’t. However, He does say that if we trust Him, we will never be disappointed. He actually says it many times.

      As God is working out the big picture of you, He has some training in store. The training always requires the difficult things that make us think we are on the wrong track or incapable of the job ahead. We are not capable, but that’s what the training is for. And we can’t see the big picture, so it’s even harder. Our eyes belong on God and His promises, and He has promised a picture much better than our own plans.

The small, tedious puzzle pieces, the grunt work, are so necessary to create that big picture. God says, “Do not despise the days of small beginnings,”(Zechariah 4:10) because that’s where the inspiration God gave us begins. Those stressful, frustrating days of small beginnings give us refinement, strength, discernment, experience, and credibility, and they test our passion. But not without a fight. We will always have battles to win, giants to conquer, fears to dispel, and barriers to bust through. But how many times does a weightlifter get stronger without pulling a few muscles and dropping the barbell many times? Challenges are not failures. They are purposely designed barbells that God has given us to make us stronger and prepare us for the next step. Eventually, we will see why we had over a thousand puzzles pieces to figure out. And we will be stronger and wiser for it.

None of the pieces of your life are insignificant. Not a one.    

      When I was growing up, the back of our house had a thick wooden door that opened into the kitchen. We always locked it at night or when we were away from home. It was painted white and had windowpanes to halfway down the door with wooden window grids that my dad meticulously painted every year. When the paint had dried, I would watch him use a razor blade to scrape the paint off the glass in perfect, straight lines.

      And then there was the doorknob. Ah, that almighty doorknob! It was a shiny, polished brass that my dad cleaned with a special paste, making sure to remove every spot of tarnish. On the inside of the door there was a set of Venetian blinds that could be lowered for extra security and safety or raised for sunlight and, of course, charm.

      Sounds lovely, right? But on the outside of this carefully tended vault of security was a screen door. The spring was partially broken, and the wood was slightly warped so that the door never really closed completely. The formerly white paint was dirty and peeling, and the screen had several holes. There was a rusty metal hook that almost fit into a matching rusty metal loop; the loop was loosely screwed into the door frame, and I guess we pretended it was an impenetrable lock.

      When the kitchen got hot from cooking, my mom would open the solid sturdy door so air could get in through the screen door. Apparently, the bugs and outside noise were also ushered in along with the fresh air. I developed amazingly fast reflexes and became adept with a fly swatter. The screen door was never replaced until I had grown up and moved out, even though I think the ongoing plan had always been to “replace it soon”.

      Now I have my own house, and there are so many things I need to keep secure and safe. My husband and I were not only raising children; we had our own things that were precious to us. Now, years later, I still want to protect my home and everything in it, but I have discovered that I tend to forget about protecting my heart and mind. How many of us think that we are taking conscientious care of our hearts, but that first line of protection is filled with holes and weak spots that we intend to fix “soon”? We are carefully polishing up the beautiful brass lock on our inner door by doing the “right” things, being kind, helping wherever we can, and being socially and politically aware, but that first entrance into our heart and mind is full of holes and weak spots, like the screen door. Sometimes the hole can be not staying faithful in the face of trauma or disappointment, or not standing by our convictions for fear of not being like by others. Other times it’s a flicker of anger or resentment that we fan into a huge flame before getting help. Whatever the bugs and outside noises are, they first get into our minds. Then it’s a short distance into our hearts, which is the part of us where we actually dwell; Then we becomesinfested with bugs. What we eventually perceive as normal and right has been a subtle and slow build-up of negative and destructive things that have eroded our God-given creativity, our perspective, even our ability to connect with each other.

      Earlier today, while I was making my bed, I saw a large bug crawling up the curtain at my bedroom window. I believe this kind of monster is called a stinkbug, and apparently, its name is appropriate. I have no idea how it got into my house; I had not left any windows or doors open, but that’s the point; I was unaware. Somehow it got in, and I had to get rid of it because of the essence it could leave. I think it’s like the skunk of the bug family; it’s almost impossible to get rid of the odor. When we allow bugs into our hearts and minds, the thoughts multiply and intensify, and it’s really hard to get them out!

      We are in a new season, and we are all wanting a change in some aspect of our lives, whether a physical change, emotional change, social change . . .whatever. We need to be aware of where the stinkbugs find the tiny entrances into our hearts and minds. Past disappointments, anger, trauma, and resentment, even boredom can become the focus of what could otherwise be a beautiful, fulfilling life. I love looking out my window with its beautiful curtains, but all I was able to look at was that disgusting bug until I got rid of it.

      There is a very good reason that God said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  -Proverbs 4:23. We cannot blame our circumstances for how we think, act, or behave; the state of our heart is often revealed because of our circumstances. But we can choose to guard our heart and keep the screen door in good repair.

      Check it often.

         I do a lot of sewing. It started when I was a child, making dolls’ clothes, and continued as a teenager, making my own clothes. It then progressed to designing and making costumes, becoming more complex as the professional requirements of my ballet company and dance academy grew. As life moved on from the needs of the stage and studio, I  now not only sew alterations for “normal” people, but I also love altering and redesigning wedding gowns. The wedding gowns are by far the most challenging, because what you see is by far not what you get! What may look like a flowing vision of white fabric, with or without sparkles, can actually be multiple layers of different weaves, different weights, different lengths, and even different colors, all to facilitate the singular look that everyone sees wafting down the aisle on the big day. And, of course, each layer must be measured and hemmed separately to compliment the top outermost layer but not be seen peeking out below it. And keep the bride smiling. It can be a complicated process, but when the finished look is completed and adding to the glow of the bride’s face as she tenderly marches into her future, then every stitch, every pricked finger, every desperate attempt to wash the resulting blood off the dress, every “measuring twice or more to cut only once” is worth all the hours of tedious, laborious work.

         Interesting. When we have a vision and get our hearts set on a desire, when we are impatient for the results of a long-awaited prayer, or when we’re working through a hope that seems deferred, we want that finished picture sooner than yesterday. Brides are anxious for the finished gown and the big day. But we forget that there are often many layers that need to fall into perfect place in order for the last, top layer to shine to it’s full extent . . . to it’s designed, intended extent.

         As God prepares us for the culmination of His purpose for us, there are many layers that must be in place first, and He will neither rush nor delay His perfect creations. Can it be frustrating and very discouraging for us to have to deal with all those layers? Yes. Can it be disheartening, even painful? YES. And the more excellently those layers are made, they will never be seen by anyone else. However, those meticulously designed layers are responsible for the beautiful, final reveal of the spectacular creation that God has always planned for each one of us. What no one sees is that each layer is basically a support and building system; they keep the finished creation smooth and give it the shape that it was originally designed to have.

         How many of us truly appreciate the difficult and wearisome under-layers of our lives? Like lifting heavy weights to strengthen our muscles, the weights we carry  through painful days and circumstances strengthen our character, teach us how to overcome, and allow God to mold us into the people He has created us to be. Each layer, no matter how seemingly insignificant or pointless in our own eyes, is like a heavy barbell that we are learning to lift to prepare us for our future.

         God says He has plans for our future that are not to harm us but are for our ultimate welfare ( Jeremiah 29:11), no matter how it feels at the time. He already sees us as His gloriously resplendent children, even when all we see is the prep work, because He is the only one who knows the future.

         Let’s remember, as we are digging and working through the many layers, that the work is not pointless, it is not a mistake, and God ALWAYS finishes what He started. “Therefore, let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not give up” – Galatians 6:9

There is a fierce winter storm going on outside as I write this. I have prepared really well; I have flashlights with extra batteries at the ready. I have a huge pot of chili prepared, all my electronic devices have been charged, and I bought a power bank in case the power goes out. My laundry has been done, I have lined up indoor activities and movies to watch if the power stays on. However, no matter how high I set my thermostat or my gas fireplace, I am still needing to wear two sweatshirts and fleece socks. I went to make yet another cup of very hot coffee, and as I stood by the coffeemaker, I felt a little breeze coming out of the wall. To my surprise (and homeowner’s ignorance), I discovered cold air coming through the electrical outlet. I went on a journey of discovery throughout my house, and I realized that cold air was coming through every outlet on an outside wall! I thought I was so conscientious and had prepared so well, yet I was still caught off guard and freezing! When my children were toddlers, I plugged up every single unused outlet in the house to keep them from sticking dangerous items in the holes; it never occurred to me that I needed to guard the holes to keep the good stuff in. I quickly got some tape to cover the holes, and my house was warmer within thirty minutes. The storm is still raging on the outside, but every access point in my home has denied the storm’s entrance into my place of comfort and safety.

I wonder what access points in my heart have inadvertently been left open to the threats to my peace. I obviously have missed a few, because I still experience fear, anger, and anxiety. I can’t control the storms, and when I forget Who actually does, I am helpless. God says to “Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23. I can’t guard it by cowering in a corner and covering my head, but I also can’t guard it by fighting under my own power. I didn’t realize that freezing air was entering my house through tiny little holes in the walls. Even easier to miss are the unguarded areas of my heart that allow the storms of life to seep in –storms that I am so quick to blame on someone else. When I remember that the Lord is the One who lives with me and in me, and that He is my refuge and my fortress (Psalm 91:2), then the holes in my heart are safely plugged up, despite the storms that rage outside. The storm cannot get in, and the warmth cannot get out.

 I am safe, no matter what.

Sirens in the night

chills travelling up my neck

panic through my heart

Sirens causing fear

screaming within the darkness

pulling hope away

God is a siren

proclaiming help is close by

rescue is now here

Panic steals the peace

different hearts have different fears

this sound has stories

His peace is within

His voice calling from afar

summoning the help

Sirens have meant pain

they summon so much anger

echoing for days

Their voice has now changed

sirens did not cause the fear

fear tries to ambush

The louder His voice

the deeper His comfort feels

His siren brings rest

Cries all around us

is evil going to win

evil is so loud

Loud pries our focus

loud does not mean power

loud has its own fear

God has the power

yet our own anger wants it

trying to own it

Man tries to posture

assuming authority

presuming knowledge

God’s patience is vast

even when we break His heart

He waits for ours

How long will God pause

when will His patience be done

will He say, “enough!”

God’s word does not change

but our hearts are so fickle

we care less and less  

Until our hate kills

without pause we will destroy

and claim to be just

God sheds tears for us

as we kill His creations

and put ourselves first

Do we not yet see

how our way is not working

how our hate still grows

We water God’s seeds

but our water is poison

that wilts His blossoms

We were the blossoms  

we were to tend His garden

do we prefer death

How long will God wait

we should have been the blossoms 

what do we do now?

            Do you have a child who seems anxious? I don’t mean first-day-of school, or going-to-the-doctor, or even giving their first speech in public nervousness. I mean chronic sleep disturbances, uncontrolled emotions, perhaps some nervous habits or ticks. Anxiety roots can dig pretty deep. The child can’t calm down enough to think of strategies or solutions, and they are maybe chastised frequently to “JUST CALM DOWN!” Sometimes internal panic has taken over without obvious outward signs, and the child begins to believe they are the problem and there is no solution in sight. And parents feel helpless.

            Every problem truly does have a solution. However, a child who has been diagnosed with anxiety or ADHD or both, hears the word “diagnosis” and immediately feels tagged with a disease or serious condition. Then they feel their future, their dreams, their plans, and their options are gone. That word kind of puts a punctuation on their future, and that causes — guess what – more anxiety! They may think their dreams are gone, but nothing could be further from the truth! Anyone who has grown from a child with anxiety or ADHD into a thriving, motivated adult can tell you that part of their success in achieving their dreams is because of their ADHD or anxiety. With coaching from a good Kids’ Life Coach, a child can learn that their passion and ability to hyperfocus is a superpower that pushes them up every mountain and helps them do things and discover joys that they never thought possible! They learn to channel their energy and use their gifts, rather than feel frustrated and isolated.

            “Why could a child possibly suffer anxiety?” you might ask. “Their lives are pretty happy, I take care of their needs, and love them unconditionally.” That’s almost a rhetorical question these days. Kids are shockingly aware of the world news, anger about politics, changing culture, epidemics, pandemics . . . you can fill in the rest. And in the effort to always tell children the truth, their tiny shoulders are bearing burdens that are much too heavy from them to carry at such a young age. Small children are wearing tracking devices so parents will know if their child has been kidnapped (even preschoolers have figured out why), and families are spending less time together discussing their child’s daily highs and lows at the dinner table every night. Children are taking a barrage of tests and interviews just to get into preschool (not Harvard). The pressure is on to learn more and more at younger and younger ages. Video game addictions are isolating kids more and more and creating huge gaps in opportunities for social interactions; their creativity is being stunted because the video screen either tells the child how to do everything or just does it for them. Discovery is now left to the convenience of the electronic tablet so that the busy parents can get “important stuff done”. This generation of kids has learned that unless the toy beeps, lights up, or talks, it is useless. And after a full day, children try to settle down for a good night’s sleep, carrying all of this into the next day to start again.

Remember when kids spent hours in hands-on discovery, building with blocks or Tinker Toys? The kids were actually learning to peacefully handle frustration and disappointment, but they were also learning success, creativity, and pride in their work – no charging cord needed! 

            All of these pressures are obviously not going away, so kids need to learn how to process today’s world without developing sleep issues, stomachaches, headaches, and emotional outbursts. Parents are so tired at the end of the day that they, too, are having sleep issues, headaches, stomachaches, and emotional outbursts, just from not knowing how to help their children!

 Enter: a Kids’ Life Coach. A qualified and experienced coach can help the child and frustrated parents navigate their boat through the choppy waters so everyone gets to their destination successfully, happily, and with a sense of triumph. Perspectives can change, the home climate can change, and peace can blanket even the busiest of homes. Then everyone can settle into a restful sleep at night, ready to take on the world in the morning!

Learn from the kids.

                                                         ©2025   4/20/2025

“Love the least of these”

do we not see who they are

those without a home

Their hearts are not warm

they crave their cold companions

they feel so alone

The least are hungry

they thrive on the nourishment

that false praise feeds them 

They are in great pain

that is weakening their hearts

sapping their soul’s strength

The least are needy

they need assurance of love

they hide all their pain

Who seeks out the least

He who knows the heart sees them

He welcomes them in

The least shun the great

the least will not share their lives

their love is not shared

The least have nothing

nothing of useful value

yet they feel wealthy

We deceive our hearts

the least believe they stand tall

they mock true servants

The least do not see

they do not see their folly

they do not look up

Those who were thought tall

have become the least of all

we must love the least

The least raise themselves

the humble live to bow down

God raises His own

Those who judge the least 

are truly themselves the least

pride will betray them

The truth of God is love

His love will raise His children

their hearts remain full

They once were empty

yet God filled them with His seeds

seeds that bear His fruit

Haughty hearts are full

full of self-inflated worth

no room for God’s voice

Humble hearts want God

they always yearn to hear Him

they empty their cares

They know their great need

God will fill the empty heart

He fills it with Him

When all is complete

when His redemption is sealed

our hearts will be one

We pray for the least

we dig into our own hearts

and we discover

We are all the least

we have always needed Him

we are His children      

03/08/2025 – “The Errant Flower”

            I went outside to my front yard after a huge windstorm, just to see how many broken branches had been tossed around and were lying on the ground, or if my empty plastic flowerpots had rolled like tumbleweed into my neighbor’s yard. There was still a remnant of last year’s mulch packed down into former flowerbeds that was so old and compressed it hadn’t even budged in the wind.

            As I looked around, what caught my eye was one lonely, purple crocus waving at me in the afternoon’s breeze. It was almost as if it was saying, “Don’t worry, new life is beginning, spring is almost here, things that seemed dead are stirring and waking up!”

            There really isn’t anything surprising about a crocus spontaneously popping up after a few early warm days – nothing surprising at all. It’s nice to have that reminder that gentle days are coming. The surprise is . . . I have never planted any crocuses. Ever. I have no idea where it came from. It’s not the first of last year’s flowers that was anxious to pop back up. No one gave me a bouquet of flowers that dried up eventually and had shed some seeds. This little stranger was deliberately pushing itself up through dry, packed clay dirt and very thin, dry mulch. There had been no rain for weeks, and I had not watered flowers since the end of summer. This little flower stranger was a volunteer visitor with no family, no relatives, no relationship to the stark, hibernating emptiness all around it.

            How many times have we felt surrounded by dry, infertile land with opportunities that have either dried up or have not had the chance to start? Have we felt that the best is over, we have to start building from scratch (if at all), or what’s the point?

            There is a point. God does not need our input, our experience, our expertise, or even our past to create our future out of nothing. I have never planted anything in my yard other than begonias, azaleas, a peony bush, and a tree. I do put out pots of chrysanthemums. That’s it. I have never planted a crocus in the middle of a very weather-worn yard. But God intended for it to be there. I had nothing to do with it

            God has plans for every one of us, whether we think so or not. Whatever you think really has little to do with it. Sometimes our past can be used to guide our path; often we learn from our hardships and use them as strengths for what’s up ahead. But nothing that happens in life is a surprise to God, because He designed our lives to be our unique fingerprint in the world. We might continue on in a similar way as we go, or we might jump into another boat. We can plan arrange, manipulate, even put a deposit on a time-share, but we absolutely cannot create a life from where there was none. Only God, the Creator, can defy our own finite sense of logic to speak something into being that is beyond our most imaginative expectations.

            Only God creates a beautiful flower out of dead, dry land where we have never thought to plant any seeds.

Dance on.

I was having a conversation with a little boy about emotions and how to handle them. In our conversation, the word “loneliness” came up, and I asked him what he thought it meant. He was holding a little stress ball at the time, and without taking the tiniest moment to think about it, he immediately threw the ball into an upholstered chair filled with pillows and said, “tossed away where no one can find you and no one is looking.”

Just sit and let that sink in for a minute – a little boy who has such profound depth of thought and has apparently way too much experience in feeling lonely. Oh, and he has several siblings; he’s not an only child.

We often think that loneliness is reserved for nursing homes or senior residences. Sometimes we’re lonely when moving to a new city, or a new job and have yet to find friends. Big changes can make us feel lonely for a while. We also remember loneliness as being rampant during the Covid pandemic when we were all on lockdown. Loneliness is considered temporary and fixable. But when loneliness, not boredom, is so readily expressed in a young child, it demonstrates the principle of cause and effect with chilling clarity.

The political and social climate of fear and attack has caused our children to tread unsuccessfully through a mine field of hate that is blowing up in their faces and into their hearts. They are aware of the posts on social media, even if they’re too young to have accounts, because they hear their older siblings talk or rant about it. They hear the news, and they hear their friends echoing what their parents are saying. Everyone is yelling, “Peace! Peace!”, and in the same sentence they are publicly saying horrific proclamations and dire predictions about those on the other side of their own beliefs and convictions. Strong feelings are running amuck. Everyone has a right to their beliefs and convictions. But show our children how to act like an adult. And if the other person can’t, show some integrity and model it yourself.

 Fight for what you believe but be aware of where your bombs are landing. In all of everyone’s self-righteousness, on every side, our precious children with acute hearing and moldable hearts are being “tossed away where no one can find them, and no one is looking.”

Learn from the kids.