For a while now, I’ve been keeping a personal, daily journal of the events of my life and the state of my mind and my heart. I never did it when I was younger, because I was too busy being busy. I would maybe occasionally spend a few days in a row recording significant events and my feelings or prayers in the midst of the melée, but I never saw the value (or had the self-discipline) of doing it every day, until the last few years. Ironically, I’m even busier now, but that seems to indicate that I need to spend even more time pouring out my heart, processing, and having a voice, even if no one else is listening but God and me.
I was looking back many pages into the last few years of my life, and the pages showed that the pens I used every day over hundreds of pages kept running out of ink. I guess I would just pick up the nearest new pen, no matter what color the ink was, and keep writing. The ink color would change, and I could see it fading, almost symbolizing the manic pace of recording frenzied life events. The days went on without pause, the thoughts didn’t stop, and there was no break in the continuity of what I needed to say; it was just a new color that kept picking up where the old color left off. My journals still look like that.
Hmmm…..Whatever changes occur in our lives, good or bad, our story will keep going. Certain aspects may begin to fade like the ink from a well-used pen, but the story goes on. Even the changes that we desperately try to avoid can still be used for our good if we take the time to pick up a new pen, rather than stop writing. As the “colors” of our lives change, one can see what significant turns we have taken that have formed who we are, how we think, and what we perceive. Things that used to be a priority may have faded into a softer blur, and new events take the lead in vibrant color. All the while, our story continues to continue. The feet continue to walk forward, the heart continues to love, and the mind still tries to make sense of what the heart is feeling. The color of our story keeps changing, but inside we are still the same, however, better, stronger, and wiser from experiencing all the different colors. As long as we are breathing and have a pulse, we can choose the ink that represents where we go. If we don’t like the color at the moment, it will eventually fade and change, because our story is not over. People change course, artists start a new canvas, dancers add new choreography, and musicians play or write a new symphony. In whatever way we are gifted, our orders from above are “Forward march!”
And so, we dance on.
Grace Notes 