I have learned so many things about people through teaching ballet – things that go far beyond the technique – things that go much further than even the desire to dance. Dance is only one tiny manifestation of the universal need we all have: to be able to create something that leaves a mark and a path for someone else to follow. And we want to be significant; we want to matter.
Like most of the performing arts, dance is dependent on being seen. In many cases, it’s dependent on being judged. And accepted. And wanted. That’s being significant. Most importantly, we want to be significant enough to be remembered.
I’ve had many students over the years who were labeled as having behavioral problems, or having an “attitude.” With each one, I’ve had to say, “Let’s go have a little chat.” We would go into my office, shut the door, sit face to face on the sofa together, and then begin to discuss the real issues.
In my early years of teaching, I was frustrated that I even had to address behavior issues at all. Isn’t that the parents’ job?? But as I got deeper into the whole world of teaching, I began to thrive on speaking with the students AND the parents, getting closer to the character development issues, and discovering the backgrounds that led to the personalities and motivations. Eventually, the little chats, which would often evoke tears, would end in tight hugs and tighter relationships.
That’s when I discovered that moving the feet of the students is not nearly as important as moving their hearts. Everyone’s reasons for dancing are varied, everyone’s style and abilities are unique, and everyone’s home life and backgrounds are completely different from each other’s. Many issues are resolved and helped through dance, but many more are revealed.
That led me to develop an interesting concept. Looking behind someone’s eyes when speaking face to face is what reveals so much more of the story than what is coming out of their mouth or even the expression on their face. The place behind the eyes is what reveals the true emotion, the joy, the pain, the confusion, or the grief that is being masked by the facial expression, the words, or the behavior. That place in them is what speaks to the place in my heart, so the real issue, rather than the behavior, can be addressed. One heart speaking to another. In these talks, sometimes the behavior is never even brought up, because the intimacy of trust resolves the behavior.
In the very complex story, The Man in the Iron Mask, the character, Phillipe, was imprisoned and locked into an iron mask that covered his entire head for six years. No one could see his face. Even he couldn’t see nor feel his face. Eventually, after a very long series of events, he was finally released and ecstatic about his freedom. However, he actually ended up choosing to put the mask back on. He said, “I’ve worn it so long, I can’t feel secure without it!” Even though the lock was broken and he couldn’t hide who he really was, Phillipe opted to keep the mask on.
Everyone feels the need for an iron mask sometimes. Some people always wear one. However, observant teachers who truly want to speak into someone’s life will try to look behind the iron and behind the eyes. Usually, the key for the lock is on the teachers “key ring” somewhere. Bad behavior or inappropriate responses to the teacher usually hold a key or two, but the doorway is behind the eyes. Once the teacher has found at least one key that fits, the attitude changes, the behavior changes, and even the dancing improves. I think that’s because there’s no longer a reason to hide behind the mask. The artistic expression and the freedom to bare one’s soul aren’t timid to come out. The dancer recognizes the love and total acceptance from the teacher, and a lot of the frustration is gone.
Actually, one doesn’t have to be a dancer or a dance teacher to figure this out; it’s universal. But then, I think everyone should know how to
Dance on.
Grace Notes 