Ever since I was a little girl I have hated change. If there was a substitute school bus driver, I panicked. Major schedule changes gave me nightmares. When a good friend of mine moved away, it left me stunned and nervous about the hole in my life. When people talk about a “new normal,” the little girl in me wants to scream, “If it’s new, it’s NOT normal!” The big girl in me screams it, too. I don’t know why; well, maybe I do.
For me, “normal” infers a sense of resolution in my life. Whether it’s good or bad, it’s predictable. “Normal” means I have the choice of variants in my personal landscape. When something does change in my life, I like to feel that I have at least some control of it. Otherwise, the change couldn’t possibly be a positive shift in my life, right?
Yes, I do realize that my perspective is not …dare I say it?… normal.
So, I’ve done a lot of thinking lately about the word “normal.” The dictionary defines it as ”conforming to a standard; usual; typical or expected.” This says to me that our own “normal” is variable, because our own standards differ so much from each other.
“New normal” has always meant (maybe just to me) that I have no choice at all, nor any peace about my situation. I also presumed that it meant it was forever. It meant I was giving in if I accepted it. It also meant defeat and that I certainly would not derive any benefit from this change.
Recently, I had a revelation! That’s probably because I’ve actually taken the time to ponder my questions and listen for answers. There’s a change right there.
If we gauge “normal” by our own standards, then perhaps it’s not our situations that become a “new normal”; perhaps it’s our own biases and perceptions that need to be updated.
This whole topic became more significant to me when my husband passed away, and people kept telling me that my life would have a “new normal.” My mindset was to prove that I will absolutely not adjust, this will never be acceptable, and “normal” will never again be on my radar. However, I have discovered that finding a workable solution that leads to a resolution is not accepting defeat. It’s actually a triumph. Carrying anger and resentment is accepting defeat. Learning to move forward despite a change of circumstances is rejuvenating, not just motivating. Newton’s first law of motion is, “A body in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.”
We face unbalanced forces every day, forces that push against us and distract us or slow us down. Some are strong enough to push us backwards. But Newton’s law also says a “body at rest stays at rest.” As people, staying at rest will eventually cause us to emotionally melt away. Even physically we can’t flourish. So there has to be something that will push us forward. That’s where our friends, family, and faith come in. That’s how we keep our eyes on moving forward. Slipping into stubborn self-pity is a move backwards that finally stops at the very bottom. But travelling up and forward has no limit, and the view is much brighter than from the bottom.
So, a “new normal” does not have to be a place to park for the rest of your life. It may be a change, but it’s only a transitional change that is an opportunity to add a new dimension, new knowledge about yourself, and a chance to think outside the box. It’s not really a “new normal” anyway – it’s simply another conduit to get you to find and use all the gifts God has given you. It’s not about the situation; there will always be new situations. It’s about your new perspective. THAT is the “new normal.”
Dance on.
Grace Notes 