“I’M RIGHT, AND YOU ARE IGNORANT!”
“NO, I’M RIGHT, AND YOU ARE AN IDIOT!”
“IF YOU CAN’T SEE THAT I’M RIGHT, THEN I DON’T THINK I CAN EVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!”
“THAT’S JUST FINE WITH ME, YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT ANYONE WITH WHOM I’D WANT TO ASSOCIATE ANYWAY!”
Sound ridiculous? Have you heard these words? Have you said any of these words? They don’t feel ridiculous to people who are in the throes of a serious argument. They may not sound ridiculous, but they are very dangerous words – sharp little bullets that can do irreparable harm.
I heard an alarming fact on the news recently. Long-time friends will have nothing to do with each other, close relationships are breaking off, and marriages are actually ending in divorce, all over different political opinions. People yell facts at each other, fling insults into the air, and they often seem more intent on “being right” than actually “doing right.” Everyone needs to be heard, but being the loudest and the most offensive does not win, find solutions, nor resolve controversy. It further separates people who are already hurting from isolation. It soon becomes “every man for himself” and people form their own perspective of how and why they should deal with each other.
If you have never read Lord of the Flies, by William Golding, let me summarize it:
A group of boys from an exclusive prep school survive an airplane crash on a deserted island. As time goes on and the boys are stranded alone, they begin to establish their own society and form of government. Their isolation and fears bring out the primitive, savage behavior that we like to believe is below our own level of culture and development. What we don’t want to believe is that we are all capable of the same violence, cruelty, and abusive behavior. We even find ways to justify it when we are desperate.
We have such limited ways of expressing our intense feelings right now. There are no venues or opportunities where we can channel our anger, fear, and frustration. Dance companies are unable to perform, Broadway is closed, concert halls are dark, singers and musicians cannot perform live, concerts are all virtual…our only real-time voices are to verbally and loudly express our anger and frustration at a fever pitch. We must be right.
Paradoxically, we think that “being right” is “doing right.” It’s a bit like shaking a soda bottle because you’re angry at it for fizzing. More shaking creates more fizzing until it finally explodes; we apparently are exploding because we are so incensed that everything is exploding.
The arts have always been a sign of a culture that has development, refinement, beauty, intelligence, and reflect something much deeper. The arts show that people still have the desire to give rather than just take. We are the only part of God’s creation that creates through inspiration and imagination; that’s because He wants people to see how we can encourage good in others.
All of the arts also give people the opportunity to express uncomfortable or controversial ideas within the safety of anonymity. No one feels safe now when they see that expressing their opinions have the potential to incur violent opposition. However, being able to have a voice and reveal all the emotional nuances allows for a seemingly better form of communication. People will listen to a song or watch a piece of choreography, even when they express an opposing viewpoint. It’s as if we aren’t hearing each other; we’re just waiting for the other guy to shut up so we can “enlighten” him with our wisdom, insults, and louder voice.
We must hang on to the arts so we can hang on to each other. Our arts keep our voices and relationships intact, and they force us to listen and hear each other. Music, dance, voice, and theater have never been extra “add-ons” to our society. They reflect our deepest motives, and if we let them fall away, we become nothing more than the same violent, cannibalistic culture as in Lord of the Flies.” We kill each other, either physically or emotionally, in our own selfish desire to kill others before they kill us…and of course, so we can “be right.”
This piece was very hard for me to write. It took me almost five days to yank it out, because I don’t want people to feel uncomfortable or be angry at me. But then I realized that writing is also an art, and why should any artist be forced to feel uncomfortable and incomplete because they don’t want to make others uncomfortable? That’s how to lose your voice, and it’s certainly not being honest. I suppose that hesitation proves my point. I don’t want to just repost news articles or only post quotes from other people. I want to transparently be myself and write without malice and with honest intent.
The best way to “be right” is always to “do right.”
And to dance on.
Grace Notes 