One of the more difficult issues to resolve when working with young children is the dilemma of winning and losing at a game. The skills of the game are actually secondary at this point; the goal is emotional growth through learning humility, sportsmanship, winning, and basically learning to not throw a tantrum when you lose. Most of the kids in the preschool class where I work want to stop playing when they’re losing and the winner feels it’s appropriate to gloat – all of them except one little girl. The first time she lost she giggled and was genuinely happy for the little boy who won. Then she lost again and giggled a bit louder. She ended up losing every time, but with each attempt she laughed louder and louder until she was shrieking with glee. She thought it was hilarious that she couldn’t win at this game! I had more fun watching her lose than teaching her how to play! I don’t know what secret she has mastered in her four short years of life, but this sweet little thing really knows how to love every minute of every day. She finally did win a game and was certainly very happy and proud of herself, but every time her opponent won she would yell out his victory and cheer. This little girl not only enjoys the whole experience of working towards a goal, but she is learning the value of every experience. She’s not even aware yet of her own wisdom, but she will reap the benefits endlessly as she grows.
When and how did we learn that we must win at all costs? Why is winning at everything the only thing that makes the effort worth the time? I understand contests, competitions, situations that require a declared winner, but to see a little girl consistently rejoicing in someone else’s victory and laughing at her own mistakes without self-condemnation or remorse shows that one-upping each other does not contribute to learning nor developing a healthy attitude. This little girl happens to be very smart, and she is well aware of the concept of winning or losing. However, I think that for her, losing a game is simply part of the experience she gets to have with her friends and teachers who love her. She accepts everything that happens to her as part of this fun journey she’s on. She tries her best at everything, she loves her friends, including the ones who sometimes make her angry, and in her free time she draws pictures of hearts and rainbows for everyone, including the ones who won the games that she’s lost.
It’s a shame that we tend to become jaded and often cynical as we grow up. So many of us are taught to “do unto others before they do unto you.” We need to be first in line, first to shout an answer, first to be the one to pass on information…such a “me first” mentality. Who are we trying to impress? Is it ourselves?
What a wonderful lesson for all of us to learn in school! We all need a teacher who is four years old with an infectious giggle. This little girl already knows the lesson – she lives the lesson. With every giggle, every new picture she draws for the teachers, every interesting weed she presents proudly as a gift, she is honoring God by demonstrating her awe and wonder at every element of creation. She is already unknowingly becoming the teacher with her innocent appreciation of her world and all the people around her.
So, I think I’ve figured out one of the most important goals in the classroom at ANY age: to learn how to keep the students’ perpetual awe intact and to keep them giggling louder every time they lose at Alphabet Bingo.
And to keep them dancing on.
Grace Notes 