In my preschool class, two little boys were beginning to ramp up to a full-blown fight. Although they were not the very best of friends, they generally got along and were able to play together quite well. However, one particular day, things were different.
We were conducting an all-day, preschool level science experiment: Which block of ice will melt faster; the one covered with rock salt, or the one with nothing? Of course, the results were a bit inaccurate, because tiny hands were constantly “massaging“ the ice throughout the day; the control group was …well, out of control. The two boys, one with bouncy blonde curls and the other with a broad smile and very fair skin began to insist on owning their only correct answer; their difference of opinion soon hit decibel levels reserved for the playground. Blonde curls started to bounce like a hot pot of popcorn, and fair skin turned feverishly red. Tears began to flow profusely as yelling quickly escalated to high pitched screams, and two pairs of tiny hands balled up into weapons of mass destruction. The rest of the class began to retreat and take cover as the two boys loudly declared, “You’re stupid! I hate you!” as their parting shots. I felt like I was watching the six o’clock news report on current events.
I took each boy by the hand and led them (dragged them) to the other side of the room. Both had hurt feelings, both were so very angry and insulted, and perhaps a bit scared that their anger got so far so fast. And both boys were one big bucket of stubborn.
Here is the chat we had:
Me: “You both are sure that you are right. So, what do you think is more important: a friend you can have for life, be the best man at your wedding and maybe be the godfather of your very first child? Or a block of ice that will be nothing more than a sloppy mess at the end of the day?”
Blonde Curls: (with head down) “A friend for life”
Broad Smile: “A fwend, I guess” (head down but stealing a peek at Blonde Curls)
Me: “Look each other in the eye and say one thing you like about your friend”
Blonde Curls: ”I like your shirt.”
Me: “Wrong answer. It has to be about him and why you like having him in your class.”
Broad Smile: “You are kind and funny.”
Blonde Curls: “You’re kind and funny too.”
Both boys: giggle giggle giggle
Me: “I would like to see you shake hands with your friend while looking right at his face.
and say, ‘I’m sorry for yelling at you.’ Or you can hug; it’s your choice.”
Both boys: Big smiles, big hugs, and very giggly “I’m sorry, I forgive you!”
Gee, adults never act like these two little boys, do we? Oh, we may vehemently share our displeasure, or we agree to disagree while thinking the other person is too ignorant to know any better, but we certainly don’t act like children. Do we?
As we grow and hopefully mature, why do we lose our grasp on what is truly important? Obviously, it’s crucial to stay true to our convictions, but aren’t our convictions meant to reflect our heart for the betterment of each other? Instead, we tear each other apart to prove our point. Romans 15:1-2 says “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.”
Hmmm…another translation says “We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves.”
I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that there has not been a lot of bearing with others, or even being considerate of those who are sensitive, easily hurt, weak, or afraid.
Those two little boys became much closer friends that day. They’re only four years old, so they still clash occasionally, but they were riding high on their closer relationship. Until they forgave each other, they never realized what joys of relationship were hiding behind the wall of anger and stubbornness that they had put up between them. Our country even has two former Presidents from opposite parties who discovered how much they loved and respected each other and enjoyed working together as best friends. One of them has passed away; what a tragedy it would have been if they had never discovered the gem of friendship between them.
There are some very serious issues between people that a few giggles and hugs won’t resolve. But these sweet little preschool boys demonstrated the feelings we all have of needing to be heard and validated. And loved.
God always hears us, and validates us, and loves us. The Bible says to come to God as a child. That doesn’t mean with a childish temper. It means with a childlike pure desire to love and be loved. Come as a child and take delight in all God has given us in each other. God is always increasing, the same way that the universe, which He created, is always expanding. That means all He has for us is always increasing, and if we only look within, we will miss it. We will end up missing all.
Dance on.
Grace Notes 