Flexibility

What does flexibility mean to you? I was a ballet dancer, and at one time, flexibility meant being able to turn yourself into a human pretzel without breaking. To a schoolteacher, flexibility may mean being able to easily change a schedule when students are unexpectedly absent. The ability to modify plans, pivot, and accept change is an important life skill that one should learn as young as possible. Life rarely goes exactly the way we plan it at any age, and some changes work out better than what we thought we wanted. But to a child, a change in plans can mean an unmanageable disappointment that shatters their perception of happiness or even their sense of safety. 

Some kids can go with the flow while others are absolutely rigid in their expectations. As they get older, it is crucial to learn that, although life will never be predictable, no matter what happens, their day-to-day world will be a good place and they will be safe. Disappointments will happen, changes will certainly occur, but children need to rely on the fact that every problem really does have a solution, and help will aways be available. Children feel empowered when they have been part of the solution. So do adults! Children and adults always find it easier to be flexible and bend when they know they have choices – choices in how to solve the problem and choices in whom they can ask for help. 

Being flexible is not simply a part of a naturally calm and positive personality. It is a skill that can be taught and embraced through coaching.

As we raise our children into adaptable adults, we must remember that the paradigm in our homes models and molds the perspectives that the children develop. Learning to be flexible as we navigate life will not only keep our blood pressure down but our gratitude up!

Learn from the kids.