I have always been told I am too sensitive; I have been accused that I feel things too deeply, and I take things too personally. Those lofty assessments have always been issued in a critical tone. Therefore, because I apparently am too sensitive, (I prefer the term highly sensitive), I did take them as criticism. But now I say thank you.
Children with ADHD tend to feel their emotions very deeply. People who can let hurts, insults, or emotional issues roll off their backs don’t understand a highly sensitive child, and for most of them it’s too much trouble to try. However, children who are labeled as hypersensitive are keenly aware of another person’s pain, are empathetic, compassionate, and they cannot rest when they detect an injustice. Telling a crying child that he or she is being silly and then impatiently walking away is isolating, demeaning, and frightening that there will be no rescue from the hurtful or scary feelings going on in his head. When you were a child, were you every told by an angry parent, “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!”? Well, invalidating a child’s emotional hurt will certainly give him something to cry about. For a child with ADHD, the pain is exacerbated by difficulty in being able to self-regulate emotions, so a tsunami of inner turmoil occurs. Very often, the entire drama could have been mitigated with some assurance, affirmation, and compassion. Children, and adults, need to know that their pain has been seen and acknowledged.
The good news is, hypersensitive kids grow up into extremely compassionate and empathetic adults. They see and feel things that others miss, they know pain and hurt, and they have a strong desire to comfort others, alleviate someone else’s pain, and to be forgiving. Learning to balance their innate compassion with wisdom and discernment is something that can be developed and coached with a kid’s life coach. What is initially perceived in a child as a negative trait can end up being their greatest strength.
Learn from the Kids
Grace Notes 