Connect

            I was speaking with a little girl today. We had never met before, and we were sitting at her kitchen table, talking about life and different things she would like to do. The table was quite large, and she seemed to be quite comfortable with the vast distance between our chairs. We were basically just getting to know each other, and she was very pleasant and respectful. As we began to speak and share our thoughts, she let me do most of the talking, and she responded with appropriate answers. As we touched on her opinions, she became a bit more animated. A tiny glow started to develop; her interest was awakening. I laughed at a joke she made, and she started to talk a bit more. She was starting to trust, and the glow was becoming a little brighter. As we chatted, she became so animated that she began to interrupt me with some very important thoughts she had. I didn’t try to finish what I had started to say, and she was so intent on telling me her story that she didn’t even notice. She began to look directly into my eyes as she spoke, and she knew she was safe saying whatever she wanted because she felt her thoughts were significant. Then she jumped up to get a special treasure she had found and wanted to show it to me. She thought I would like to see it because it was important to her. Then the moment of truth; she picked up her chair and brought it closer to mine, so close that the seats touched. Connection. She felt the safety of connection. Connection is the most important thing to a child – to anyone. She likes different music than I like. She likes ice cream flavors that I have never heard of or will ever taste (for sure!). For Halloween she dressed up as a singer I have never heard of but pretended I did. Connection. This little girl, in all her innocence and transparency, represents what all people crave. We all crave connection, not judgement. Connection without correction. Connection without shame. Not only did she feel a connection, but she felt safe in being silly and goofy. She felt connected, even though we were different.  We need to learn from a child how to bring our chairs close. 

            Go find a child and talk to them in a way that brings their chair close. Then talk to an adult the same way. Find someone with whom you thought you had nothing in common and learn from each other until you both bring your chairs close. Then there will be more room for everyone at the table.

Learn from the kids.