A couple of years ago, a student gave me a miniature potted plant with tiny yellow roses on it. I put it on the window sill above my kitchen sink and promised myself to water it dutifully, and rotate it every few days to face the sun. 

That lasted about a month. Life took off as if shot out of a cannon, and most of the time I forgot about taking care of the plant (maybe I didn’t wash the dishes often enough to see it!). A few of the roses fell off as the soil started to dry up, but it kept growing and leaning towards the sun. A couple of weeks rolled by, all the blossoms fell off, the dirt became harder and drier, and then it started to pull away from the inside of the pot. However, the leaves stayed green and were leaning waaaay over towards the sun.

One day I noticed that the dirt had dried up so much that when I lifted the tiny leaves a little, the entire plant came out of the pot with the now marble sized clump of dirt clinging to the roots. I felt remiss (ya think?), so I finally added some water. The dirt thinned out and started to disappear, and so did the leaves. My once beautiful miniature rose plant was circling the drain. I then remembered seeing an old bag of potting soil in the garage, so I grabbed a handful of dirt and pressed it into the pot around the roots. Gardening and landscaping have never captured my creativity.

Apparently, the dirt did the trick; the next morning the leaves were stronger! Each day, the plant grew stronger and more vibrant –- even now, tiny buds of new blossoms are starting to appear (yes, I did add water)!

So, what did this lesson in horticulture teach me?

Dirt is not simply a part of life that we must learn to tolerate. Plants have to fight their way up through the dirt in order to grow, bear fruit, AND to deepen their roots. We just get resentful at having to navigate our way through the dirty parts of life. It’s dark in the dirt, it’s silent, and we feel all alone. However, that’s when the actual growth starts. We are forced to dig down first so we can take root, like getting our footing, and then we can push up to burst through the surface. When we get yet another clump of dirt dumped on our heads, we don’t see that we’re actually getting stronger as we push it out of our way.

I think I should be thankful for the dirt, even though I HATE the dirt. If it weren’t for the dirt, we would all be weak and not bear any blossoms.

Dirt has nutrients that give plants life and health. Believe it or not, our kind of dirt has nutrients for us as well. It gives us the strength to move up by realizing how far down we need to have our roots.

God knows just where to plant us and which dirt will give us the strength we need to blossom and produce fruit. And that means OUR lives will plant a multitude of seeds in others, who will also grow, blossom and plant seeds.

None of us likes to deal with the dirt in our lives, so we try as hard as we can to avoid it. We are TAUGHT to avoid it. I hear dance instructors all over the country remarking how their students refuse to put in the true, consistent grunt work they need in order to achieve. With all of the conveniences in our lives, we have “convenienced” our kids into learning how to not deal with dirt. We can NOT just drink the water and avoid the dirt if we want to grow.

We can’t really avoid the dirt, can we? Since the world began, we still have life’s dirt. It’s resistance-training that has been tailor-made for us! Be thankful for the dirt. I confess, I NEVER eagerly welcome it with a smile on my face.  However, when we grow, we can then look down at where we started and see the dirt from a different view, and we realize it wasn’t as impossible to move through it as we thought it was. It forced us to keep reaching in the right direction.

Dance on.

I saw a movie recently called Born in China. It’s a gorgeously filmed documentary that involves four beautiful animals that are indigenous to China, and the movie chronicles their lives from birth to adulthood. The photographers and videographers waited behind their cameras all day and night for years to catch these exquisite animals growing, playing, eating, learning, and being themselves.

The attraction, other than the love and fascination with the animal kingdom in general, is that they are all exotic creatures that we rarely see, even in the United States’ zoos. These animals were unobtrusively watched and filmed while they were still developing, being cared for by their mothers, and learning how to fend for themselves in their natural habitats. To us, they are rare and intriguingly beautiful; to the others of their species, they are just part of the world that they know.

In the arts world, we often forget to see with fresh eyes the amazing treasures that are created in our own world’s natural arts habitat. People flock to see dancers onstage or go to studios where all the teachers are from other countries because they’re so…different? Are they better? No, just different. By the time dancers are professional status, they are all truly beautiful and exciting to watch. It’s also fun to visit other countries to learn and be familiar with technical differences and to celebrate and enjoy the similarities. There is a very strong camaraderie in the dance world that is an unspoken but deeply understood relationship, no matter where we are from. We can’t forget nor take for granted the fine artists and training that we have right under our noses. An artist is not just inspiring and often life-changing to watch simply because he or she is from another country; it’s because their talent is a unique gift. It’s wonderful to incorporate styles and techniques from all over the world to have a “jam session” of talent.

I had a student say to me in frustration, “I wish I was Russian; I would be more interesting!” What a sad and wrong perspective of herself! She felt that if she were different from everyone else, she would be more highly regarded. The fact is, she IS different from everyone else – they’re ALL different from everyone else! Unfortunately, in this society, her presumption smacks of truth.

I have no answers, and perhaps it will never change. I think it CAN change though, if all students are treated with the same expectations (tailored to their abilities) and high regard as we treat dancers from far away. When my ballet company performed in Russia at the Bolshoi Theatre, we were awed by sightings of their dancers in rehearsal. When we began our own rehearsal, we turned around to see the doorway crowded with the Russian dancers staring at us! I guess we are all fascinated by each other if we are the slightest bit different.

Dancers from other countries and cultures are indeed beautiful. Dancers from our own country and varied cultures are indeed beautiful. That’s because dance IS beautiful, and it translates into every language without saying a word. Familiarity should not be taken for granted nor dismissed. It should be accepted with honor and gratitude for its history that has given us the privilege to be involved.

Dance on

I recently visited my daughter in California for a brief vacation. During a wonderful week of fun activities, intertwined with rest and binge-watching TV shows on Hulu, we took a jaunt to Pointe Dume Beach in Malibu. It was too overcast and chilly to spend time sitting on the sand for any length of time, but you can’t go to Santa Monica without letting well-worn dancing feet touch the sand and a bit of the Pacific Ocean.

The gray sky and the gray water pretty much blended together except when the foam of a crashing wave outlined the anger of the sea. I walked out as far as I could in rolled up jeans, and I had to struggle to keep my balance as the undertow yanked at my legs and covered my feet with sand. After so many years of ballet training, I instinctively gripped my abs and knees, insisting on standing my ground as the water relentlessly tugged over and over again. Soon my feet were buried, but I was still standing, facing directly into the waves and watching the horizon.

How often do we insist on standing our ground when life’s undertows constantly yank at us? How often do we try to run away and turn our backs to the biggest waves? AND…how often do we purpose to keep our eyes on the horizon to see what’s ahead and changing, rather than looking down at our feet while they get buried deeper in the sand?

I always feel so inspired at the beach. The mysterious serenity of the distant water combined with the relentless fury of the waves coming in makes me feel small and powerless, yet aware that God’s presence will not really render me vulnerable. I can stop trying to GUESS the future, and start moving INTO the future. That inspires me to create without the limits that people like to impose on each other.

Every artist should get away from time to time, whether it’s to the beach or somewhere else far away from the familiar. When we’re in a strange land, we stop trying to manipulate what we can’t control, because we don’t know what to expect. We have to just deal with everything with fresh eyes and thoughts. When looking into the horizon of the ocean, it’s always traveling in while a new one is right behind it. Whatever was just on the horizon an hour ago is now approaching while being chased by the next wave. The horizon changes constantly, and so should our expectations of what’s coming next. Not to be confused with goals, expectations tend to be based on our environment, our circumstances, and what we can see. Expectations need to be adjustable; goals are not!

A walk on the beach is beautiful and calming, but always expect to see broken shells and maybe jellyfish that have been washed ashore. The sand is never completely soft and trouble free, but you can still keep your goal of seeing beauty and an ever-changing horizon. That’s how we create – choreography, music, poetry – nothing that God gives us is dependent on either a calm sea or a turbulent one. We create. No matter what, we create.

And we dance on.

I decided at the last minute to make some costumes for a performance that was only two weeks away. I needed fourteen costumes, and with so many bolts of fabric in my sewing room, it shouldn’t have been a problem. It became a problem. I didn’t have enough fabric on any one bolt for all the costumes to be the same. However, I did have enough fabric of two different kinds that blended well together. If I was VERY careful and sparing with the cutting, I could get exactly fourteen costumes by using one fabric for the first seven costumes, and the other fabric for the other seven. 

So, as I was cutting and sewing, things were going along as planned until one costume seemed to come up short with a weird curve along the hemline. Apparently, I had caught the fabric when cutting it in a fold with the fabric under it! That meant that the other costumes under it would not have enough fabric either. I was so frustrated and disappointed, because I had neither the time nor money to start over. So, out of anger (I admit it) I threw the crooked fabric aside, and it landed on top of the alternate fabric that had not been enough on its own…and it looked kinda cool. Since I didn’t have enough of the original fabric I wanted anyway, I had nothing to lose by playing around with it a bit. To make a long story longer, I took some of the first few costumes I was trying to replicate and cut them into my mistake design. Because of blending and mixing up the designs, I now had plenty to work with, and I ended up with something I liked even better—all because I screwed up! We all have to be willing to see a new possibility when original plans don’t work out. As Mr. Spock always said in the original Star Trek, “There are always alternatives.”

One of George Balanchine’s methods of choreography was to incorporate mistakes that occurred during rehearsals into his ballets. The unexpected beauty often became the signature of the ballet.

God does that all the time with us. He takes our screw ups and creates an unexpected but beautiful product. It shows how short-sighted we can be in our plans. Just when we think we have completely missed the mark, God creates through us what He intended for us from the beginning. Thinking and creating outside the box may be a stretch for many of us, but the very things we consider mistakes are just a part of His plans for us.

Our mistakes should never be tossed right into the trash; they’re not garbage, but they are situations that don’t happen to be inside our box of expectations. We can either adjust our original plans and embrace the changes, or we can file them away to use for something else. Once we give ourselves over to our art and the One Who gives us the inspiration, it’s amazing to see how we can be a part of a special miracle! Often we are the paintbrush, not the painter.

Dance on

Have you ever had a goal that you worked towards for years? After working those long years with enthusiasm and hope, did that goal become a bit ragged at the edges? Perhaps the dream started to become less attainable, or even worse; you may think you had been barking up the wrong tree the whole time. That can make you feel as though the house you’ve been building has had the walls cave in. So, were you wasting your time?

Nope. Just because your horizon has changed, it doesn’t mean you should let the boat sink. Everything we do, everything we experience plays a big part in shaping our lives. I think of how dancers get painful blisters on their feet from wearing pointe shoes or dancing barefoot. The wounds heal, and then a callous eventually develops with tougher skin. The dancer finds out where the most vulnerable areas of the feet are and can then take the right precautions so the same wound won’t keep recurring over and over again.

Our own painful or disappointing experiences don’t have to forever cause the pain as when they first happened and stop us from reaching. We may always have the war stories to share with each other, as well as the sadness of remembering, but if we use the pain to reach out to others’ pain rather than pulling into our own, it reveals the purpose and wisdom that will bring peace in the midst of the pain. We live in a world where pain is inevitable, but giving in to it and imploding lets the pain win. Then, instead of shifting our goals, we have none. 

Robert Browning said, “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp.” Why? If we know our goal can never be realized, why bother? First of all, we don’t really know for sure if that goal is truly impossible for us. However, we bother because it’s not always about the end result. It’s about the journey and what we pick up along the way. Some goals are achieved, but the true victory is the strength, knowledge, skills, and perseverance we develop because of the rocky road.

If we only set goals that require little or no sacrifice or dedication, our vision becomes shorter until all we can do is float through life like a boat with no sails and no wind. Floating may be easy for a while, but we have no way of going anywhere. So, our standards continue to drop along with our creativity and sense of purpose. 

 Dancers stretch every day. The stretching keeps them flexible, reduces the chance of injury, and helps them achieve more and more skill. Younger dancers (even some of the older ones!) don’t like it and have to have the self-discipline to go past what they can already do. When they are consistent, their progress is evident. When we try to stretch our reach further and further away, we learn how long our arms can be, and we won’t come back empty handed.

Once you have finally wrapped your fingers around that diamond in the sky, you realize you can try for anything you want to do. Even if you miss that diamond, you still collect some priceless jewels that you may end up loving even more, and then you’re ready for the next stretch.

Dance on.

For a while now, I’ve been keeping a personal, daily journal of the events of my life and the state of my mind and my heart. I never did it when I was younger, because I was too busy being busy. I would maybe occasionally spend a few days in a row recording significant events and my feelings or prayers in the midst of the melée, but I never saw the value (or had the self-discipline) of doing it every day, until the last few years. Ironically, I’m even busier now, but that seems to indicate that I need to spend even more time pouring out my heart, processing, and having a voice, even if no one else is listening but God and me.

I was looking back many pages into the last few years of my life, and the pages showed that the pens I used every day over hundreds of pages kept running out of ink. I guess I would just pick up the nearest new pen, no matter what color the ink was, and keep writing. The ink color would change, and I could see it fading, almost symbolizing the manic pace of recording frenzied life events. The days went on without pause, the thoughts didn’t stop, and there was no break in the continuity of what I needed to say; it was just a new color that kept picking up where the old color left off. My journals still look like that.

Hmmm…..Whatever changes occur in our lives, good or bad, our story will keep going. Certain aspects may begin to fade like the ink from a well-used pen, but the story goes on. Even the changes that we desperately try to avoid can still be used for our good if we take the time to pick up a new pen, rather than stop writing. As the “colors” of our lives change, one can see what significant turns we have taken that have formed who we are, how we think, and what we perceive. Things that used to be a priority may have faded into a softer blur, and new events take the lead in vibrant color. All the while, our story continues to continue. The feet continue to walk forward, the heart continues to love, and the mind still tries to make sense of what the heart is feeling. The color of our story keeps changing, but inside we are still the same, however, better, stronger, and wiser from experiencing all the different colors. As long as we are breathing and have a pulse, we can choose the ink that represents where we go. If we don’t like the color at the moment, it will eventually fade and change, because our story is not over. People change course, artists start a new canvas, dancers add new choreography, and musicians play or write a new symphony. In whatever way we are gifted, our orders from above are “Forward march!”

And so, we dance on.

We may live in the era of “every man for himself,” but in that very same world, we are all connected. Often, we try to ignore that fact. However, denying that connection can only lead to exclusion and feeling that our own worth is being threatened. That turns into possessiveness, insecurity…I don’t need to continue. 

            Those feelings also squelch creativity. Rather than feeling free to choreograph and perform from an honest place in your heart, you can feel obligated to have a gimmick in order to stand out; it’s sort of like dancing while looking over your shoulder. Instead of dancing because you love it, you end up dancing just to be better and more noticeable than someone else.

            Networking is a good thing. It offers support for your weaknesses and lets you contribute your strengths to someone who needs it. It’s not based on advertising or trying to outshine anyone else. Actually, its purpose is to help you become more prolific in your art.

            One of the advantages of networking is that you can meet people who are doing the same thing as you but perhaps with a different slant. It helps you find your particular niche, and it does NOT take away from your ability to stand out. It makes your presence known, and it can skyrocket you out of oblivion and into the eyes of someone who is looking for a dancer or choreographer with your unique and individual abilities. 

            Networking is a little bit like having an agent; you become aware of opportunities that you didn’t even know existed. Many dancers are successful freelancers, but you can bet they are networking to get as much awareness as possible. Directors are always looking for new talent, and dancers are always looking for new opportunities. EVERYONE is looking for a way to expand their vision and artistry, and no one can do it alone. It takes an expanded family who speaks the same language to lift each other up and cheer each other on. It also allows dancers to commiserate during rough patches with those who truly understand and can give advice.

            All this to say, don’t think of networking as belonging to a useless club that drains your time. Networking will keep your art alive and allow you to

            Dance on.

            Recently, I and twelve dancers went to New York City for a long weekend of performances and master classes. It was exhilarating and very successful, but, as usual, the logistics of dancing in another city and racing through town made for an exhausting trip. The best illustration of how the trip went is this: On the five-hour bus trip to New York, the smiles and chatter was non-stop anticipation. On the six-and-a-half-hour crowded trip home (grrrrrr), most of the dancers slept the whole way, feeling the fatigue of the adrenaline drop. The bus ride home, although triumphant, was pretty tedious. Actually, it would have to work up several notches to achieve tedious.

 As we got off the bus a little after midnight, the families and loved ones excitedly and warmly rushed forward to greet the exhausted travelers. Although the dancers were still very worn out and sleepy, the smiles and excited chatter returned as each person received a huge hug, sincere welcome, and cheers for completing a successful mission. Talk of “next time” suddenly arose from each dancer, who only three days before had been inspired with a send-off of expectation, then the excitement and gratification of a successful mission, and then the triumph and affirmation upon the arrival home to complete the circle of experience.

I wonder if the attitude of “next time” would be as enthusiastic if there was no acknowledgement of a job well done, no sign of being appreciated and missed, no interest in being welcomed back into the fold of home. No matter how talented and confident someone is, and no matter how much they love what they do, just a little bit of affirmation or congratulations can make a difference between motivation or burnout.

I believe the best way to get someone to do well and stay motivated is to let them know how well they’re doing. Exaggerating or lying about ability is not an option, but expressing a positive thought and encouragement to someone who has worked so hard can make the effort feel it’s worth the aches and fatigue. Way too often, a gifted artist will give up and walk away from a world they love because of the lack of encouragement. Affirmation in the tank is what keeps the engine running over the roughest of roads. It helps a struggling artist beat the odds of success in a difficult world.

Never underestimate the power of even a few words of encouragement, or a smile, a pat on the back, or even a subtle nod to someone who is striving to make the world better by inspiring a few hearts through their art.

Dancers are known for their physical strength, their stamina (emotional as well as physical), and just plain grit. It takes a lifetime to really develop that tenacity, but it can disappear so quickly if the heart and soul aren’t nourished with even a few words of, ”Well done!”

Dance on.

As we all prepare for our performance seasons, it can be a challenge to come up with a name that will spark interest and be different, yet it has to ring a bell of familiarity. I decided to call our performance this year New Beginnings. I hesitated at first, because, well… isn’t being “new” the definition of “beginning”? Actually, no. Beginnings CAN be refreshed, renewed, or rebirthed. Creating something new out of something that has been used, scarred, battle worn, weary, or damaged is often even better than the original. The passion is still there, but now there is a new appreciation for the sacrifices that people make on your behalf. There is affirmation in your value, and you appreciate others’ value. Have you ever been to a yard sale? Or have you heard the expression,  ”One man’s junk is another man’s treasure”? PLUS, no one can relate to perfection, but we ALL can relate to feeling worn out, obsolete, weary, or sometimes insignificant. However, when you have a new beginning, you don’t leave who you are behind, but you allow others to enter your world. You step a hesitant toe into unfamiliar territory; it’s a new perception of belonging.

Anyone who knows me at all is aware that my world has undergone a seismic shift this past year. With the passing of my husband, it’s easy to feel dismissed at the very least, or destroyed at the very worst. However, God never takes your passion away from your heart, even when the externals change. You have been placed in the world; the rest of the world has not been placed in you. It may take some time to reconnect the dots, but who you really are is still alive and well. My husband was devoted to helping me keep my dream in my heart, never letting another’s opinion shake my confidence. 

It’s easy to let difficult circumstances cloud our vision and healthy development into who we are meant to be. We also have a choice; we can stay angry and resentful (that becomes a huge snowball),  or we can decide to use those circumstances to urge us into looking out a different window; one that is clear and lets our passion, purpose, and vision shine brighter. THAT’S a new beginning.

Dancers will bemoan their “less than perfect bodies” or “unacceptable feet.” They will obsess over their unsatisfactory technique or abilities, and then they will decide to quit what they love based on someone else’s standards. How very sad. How destructive; what a horrible shame. No one’s opinions should be powerful enough in your life to allow them to pry your dream out of your heart. 

Every morning, each of us is brand new. We have a clean, blank sheet of paper on which to write another chapter of our autobiography. No one else can come up with the plot, the direction, or even the punctuation. We can decide which characters will play a part or not.

So, pick up your pencil, have a good eraser handy, take advantage of the fact that “God’s mercies are new every morning,” and He’s giving you a new beginning. Base it on your passions, not someone else’s lofty but insignificant opinions. “Choose this day whom you will serve.” Will it be someone whose self-proclaimed importance has taken up way too much space in your decisions, or will it be to let God turn you into the person you long to be?

Every single day. Brand new.

Dance on.

All of us have monsters in our lives that need to be tamed. Some of our monsters are phobias, some are bad habits or obsessions, some may even be a bad attitude towards a co-worker.

One of my monsters is the inability to relax and do nothing; workaholism. I’m sure I’m not alone, but the fear of boredom can be isolating. Ballet dancers tend to be workaholics, because if you miss a class or rehearsal, there’s a good chance someone else will get your part, or you’ll get out of shape and not be able to even DO your part. There’s a saying in ballet – “ If you miss 3 days, you know it;  if you miss a week, EVERYONE knows it.”

The problem with never taking a beak is you run a higher risk of injury and emotional burnout. That can put you out for much longer than a week. Then you get depressed from a prolonged injury, and the burnout can block your vision as to your future and how you proceed further down the road.

Dancers need a break. They need a guilt free, no pressure time away to allow recovery from physical stress and to remember why they do this in the first place.

I once received a late-night phone call (long after midnight) from a fellow teacher. I was sound asleep, and she could hear it in my voice. She asked incredulously, “Were you asleep? Wow, it must be nice!” I felt so guilty that I came up with a lame excuse for trying to get more than five hours of sleep. Why is it a contest or a status symbol as to who can exit on the least amount of sleep?

I refuse to do that anymore! I did get caught up in it years ago, and now I don’t know why. We do go through seasons when unavoidable circumstances prevent perfect sleep habits or small vacations (school exams, caregiving for a sick loved one, raising small children, etc.) but lack of rest and recovery time is not how we’re meant to function. In reality, it’s an abuse of your gift, because we can’t be at our best productively unless we are at our best physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. This is NOT an excuse for slacking off and disregarding the diligence and work required for life as a dancer at a professional level. However refusing to care for your gift is putting it in jeopardy.

Some directors will take advantage of someone who is willing to sacrifice their health for more roles and extra dancing. However, that’s really no different than a serious opera singer screaming and yelling at a football game every day, or a musician using her sterling silver flute as a crowbar. If a flute is stored in a case with a velvet lining when not in use, then dancers can take care of their bodies taking a break now and then to prevent injury. There should be no shame nor guilt in being wise and appreciative of your gift. Take an occasional break, you need it; it’s not only okay, it’s required.

THEN dance on.